Currently Listening Watch Out! By Alexisonfire "Control" see related

I think this staying up is exactly what I need.

Thanks for checking on me. I'm doing well, I suppose.

But what's going on?

I guess I don't mean it so much as a friendly salutation as an actual question. Change of heart? I'm not sure.

Hm. But where to begin...It's been three months since I've updated this beast. That's awhile. People don't often check these things anymore, so I doubt anybody's been crying over it. Anonymous peeps from Manhattan/Wichita keep popping up on my site meter, so I guess there are still a concerned few.

Long story short, things are a little different. School is keeping me busier than usual this semester, but all's going well in that department. Social life is good, though I wish I had more time for things, and my personal life is improving in most areas. I still miss my Wichita crew, as I always will.

As far as specific news, I finally got through my portfolio review and accepted into the Graphic Design program (everyone else expected it, but it's still a relief). I've designed another logo for my uncle's company and started brainstorming on that children's book. I've got a house lined up for next year, another freelance job on the back burner for the summer, and a plan to keep up my ridiculous resolutions that I've done quite well with so far.

Granted, none of this is terribly exciting, and there are people my age who are already a thousand times more successful (which I admire). I'm just a slow mover, I guess. I'm getting somewhere; it's a lot more comforting than the idle state I was in for awhile.

So, all in all, I'm not doing too bad. There are about 87 billion other things I should be doing right now that would make a lot more sense. Just giving the people what they want...or something like that.

I hope all is well.

'Brey

(Check this song. I finally got this CD, and their newest one. I'd like to see them live...)

Currently Listening 9 By Damien Rice "Rootless Tree" see related

The road goes, and I am finding home in it.

Well, I’ve been making some small changes as of late. I'm not sure if it still helps, but at least I’ve got a little something to show for it. You should see it. :)

And I'm attempting to be a nicer, more considerate, overall better person around others. Which is good for everybody, I'm sure. It's just a bit hard to keep up (much like a lot of things). I'm working on it.

But the break was good. There's really nothing better than flag football and pumpkin pie. Running the track with my dog, being a smartass with dad, a heart-to-heart momz, video games with the bro…all that family business. I wasn’t really excited about it, but it turned out to be more than I expected.

I realized I'm lucky to have what I've got. I'm thankful. And getting better, I think.

It's been a long haul. I'd like to get to January and start from scratch since '06 has let me down. I think I'm doing alright, though.

Yesterday was a little rough. But I got a very nice surprise at the end of the day. I really appreciated that. I wish I had some really awesome things to say, you know? I think I was scared. But I'm working on that, too.

I've still got that hope thing going for me. Cautiously optimistic. Things can only get better from here, right?

It's time for some kinesiology action. I've got another study guide's ass to kick.

Crunch time, folks. "Finish strong."

Aubrey

(I can't get this song out of my head for the life of me)

Currently Listening Saosin By Saosin "It's Far Better To Learn" see related

Excuse me while I check my pulse.

The past 72+ hours of my life have been intense beyond comprehension.

Emotional pain, physical pain, laughter, fear, substance, spontaneity, happiness, sadness and lots of money spent.

Completely out of order...and I'm sure there are several others missing entirely. Regardless, I'm fairly certain I've hit just about every cognitive state and situation in the entire book. Most of which were experienced in extremely high doses (I'm still recovering).

Maybe I'll elaborate sometime. For now, I'll keep this suspense thing going.

Thanks for checking up on me. Luckily, I'm still alive and kickin'. We'll see how this week turns out.

Goodbye for now...

Aubrey

PS: This CD is excellent, but I'm sure you already know. :)

Currently Listening No Name Face By Lifehouse "Only One" see related

Dead shift.

I love working when I should be sleeping. Though sleep hasn't been coming easily the past few days anyway...I guess this is just something to keep myself busy.

Eh. I haven't been happy in a really long time.

Well...happy, maybe. Content is the word I'm looking for. I can be happy for a several-hour period. Then I wake up and drive back home. I want to feel good again...about myself and life in general. I'm running out of crutches.

My mom sends me e-mails asking if I'm okay. I feel bad for not calling like I used to. I never have time anymore. When I finally remember to call back, I just end up rolling my eyes and feeling worthless afterwards. I can never find anything to say.

My other roommate asks me the same thing. And the girl I relieved at work the other day asked me if I was okay, too.

Am I? Is it possible to be unsure of a thing like this?

Sorry about all this negative energy...I'm still at that damn wall.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

Currently Listening Don't You Fake It By The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus "Face Down" see related

In Olathe.

I'm sure I've said it before, but this place makes me sit and think too damn much.

A turn-around is much needed. My brain/heart/body aches like mad.

I failed my first art history test. A 60%. Perhaps it was caused by those random song lyrics that have been piling over the years. They're crowding my damn memory. Is there a way to fix that?

There isn't much to say, really. Even so, those are probably for my own personal records.

I can't seem to turn my thoughts off at night. I need a real vacation. A mental break, of sorts.

I think I hit a wall or something.